In celebration of England’s backs to the wall performance at Centurion last week, I’ve pulled together an XI of scrappers, those tough competitors whose success owes more to the size of their bollocks than the size of their talent.
They might not be great to watch, but they wouldn't lose many!
Michael Atherton
As England head towards the Wanderers, thoughts turn towards Athers’ greatest ever moment, his epic test-match saving slog against the best that South Africa could throw at him – 643 minutes, 185 not out. A marathon effort, but not out of character for an England captain that spent years battling against a bad back, and a worse supporting cast.
David Steel
Famously brought into the England test side to face the might of the West Indies and Australia pace attacks (Lillee, Thompson, Holding, Roberts et al) – grey hair and spectacles and aged, he withstood 90mph blows to all parts of the body as he fought tooth and nail in many a hopeless cause.
Alan Border
The man who started it all, until Border came along test series against the Aussies used to be closely thought affairs, then this miserable bugger came along. He captained the 1989 side that came to England to regain the Ashes – pilloried as the weakest Australia side to hit these shores, Border eschewed the traditional social side of the contest, he didn’t want to be friends with England. They ended up marmalising us and we didn’t see the Ashes again until 2005. He was also as tough as teak to get out.
Paul Collingwood
Three times in a year he’s fought his heart out to scrape a draw in tests against rampant Australia and South Africa sides. Colly only really seems to get going when the going gets tough, a proud Englishman and a hell of a reassuring presence in any middle order. A man you’d want by your side in the trenches.
Three times in a year he’s fought his heart out to scrape a draw in tests against rampant Australia and South Africa sides. Colly only really seems to get going when the going gets tough, a proud Englishman and a hell of a reassuring presence in any middle order. A man you’d want by your side in the trenches.
Steve Waugh (captain)
Maybe the ultimate competitor. As Australian as they come and as hard any nails – whereas his brother Mark scored beautiful runs, Steve epitomised grit, ruthlessness and an unquenchable desire to win, he came to life in pressure situations and scored the big runs when his team needed it most. As an Englishman if we ever had the old enemy in trouble it was a sickening sight to see him walking out to bat in that bloody green hat.
Shiv Chanderpaul
About as attractive as leprosy, Shiv’s not a man for the purist. It’s not that he’s got a bad technique, it’s just that it looks dreadful. He’s blessed with a great eye, the patience of a saint and a succession of accommodatingly flimsy West Indies batting line ups enabling him to display his limpet like qualities. He seems to bat for weeks on end without even looking like getting out in 2007.
Jack Russell
Another ugly looking batsman, but a contrary bastard who’d drive a succession of bowlers crazy by appearing to play at the ball before dragging the bat away at the very last second... then nudging the ball into previously uncharted territories for yet another scrappy run. Finished his career by building a hugely successful Gloucestershire side in his own idiosyncratic image.
Paul Harris
The spinner was nearly the King of Spain, but Paul Harris just nicks it in the battle of twirlers without any discernable ability. Never knowingly turned a page, he’s built a career on being so innocuous that good batsmen (hello KP!) find ways to get out to him falling over themselves to knock him out of the ground. He’s also made the most of his limited ability with the bat to make himself an obdurate tailender and useful night watchman.
Darren Gough
Captain calls down to Gough; “One more over Dazzler?” No matter what time of day, no matter what kind of beating he was on the wrong end of, there was only ever one answer to that question with Goughie. A bit more natural ability than some of those on the list, it’s a bit of a cliché but the man’s got a heart the size of house.
Courtenay Walsh
It’s harder to pick bowlers than batsmen for this team, they don’t quite lend themselves to scrapping in the same way. But Walshy was one of those great bowlers who never stopped competing, and wrung every single wicket out of his long career. Not as talented or as quick as some of his contemporaries he ended up taking more test match wickets (519 @ less than 25) than any of them through guts, intelligence and no little skill.
It’s harder to pick bowlers than batsmen for this team, they don’t quite lend themselves to scrapping in the same way. But Walshy was one of those great bowlers who never stopped competing, and wrung every single wicket out of his long career. Not as talented or as quick as some of his contemporaries he ended up taking more test match wickets (519 @ less than 25) than any of them through guts, intelligence and no little skill.
Merv Hughes
Possibly the most Australian man ever. I still don’t know how big bad Merv took so many wickets – 212 in tests. Big, dumb, and overweight it must have had something to do with heart as it sure as hell wasn’t down to class.
No comments:
Post a Comment